Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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