He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
