Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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