Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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