He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
