I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
