just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
