Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
