So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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