So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
