I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
