As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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