I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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