I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
