Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
