Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
