what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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