cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
