I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm both gender and math confused
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
