Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
