I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
