Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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