No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
