And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
