No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
