i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
