u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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