My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
