i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
