you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
