You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
