he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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