can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
