I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
