What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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