worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
ugly people sure do ruin things
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
