I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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