he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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