Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
This is my gift to your gina
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
It was a blind-side dick pic.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
