hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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