is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
