If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
