That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
