A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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