If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
my sisters under your porch take her home
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
