What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
