don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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