don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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