Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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