What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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