Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
