I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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