East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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