Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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