go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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