People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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