What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
