HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
a search helicopter?!
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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