No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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